Oh, well!

So apparently I shouldn’t feel quite as negative about my family as I think I should.  I’m still not convinced that they aren’t too self-centered in their little worlds but, I should cut them some slack.

Fine.

Well, I’m well off the cane.  Barely a limp to be seen but I’ve got a very thick-feeling sore knee.  <Sigh>  The worst part is that it is SOOOOO much work to sleep!!  I’ve done the PT for the day today but I’ve got some sewing to do and other things to work on the organization of my revised sewing area.  So many thoughts but so little ability to execute because I’m not “allowed” to drive yet.  ARGH!!!

Or should that be “a-Knee”??  Periodic, intermittent and sharp are the words I would use to describe the HEALING PAINS of a major surgery.  Most nights I find it near to impossible to stay asleep for the whole night and sometimes even getting to sleep can be a challenge.

Poor Brian, the wonderful hubby to whom I am privileged to be married, puts up with a lot of blanket flying and velcro ripping some nights.  Other nights, I just get up and leave because I don’t want to keep him awake.  It is difficult to sleep in certain positions and the muscles around the knee were either cut or torn during surgery so moving my leg is most painful.  Sometimes its just easier to sleep in my recliner in the living room.

I’m wearing my FitBit again even if it isn’t doing much good– I’ve consistently tracked my food during these past four weeks but I haven’t been walking much because of obvious reasons.  I’m now getting upwards of 3,000 steps in which is really reassuring.

Yes, we are at the 4-week mark as of tomorrow.  I think I’m doing well but I would really prefer to be at the 8 week mark with 99% of the pain behind me.  I’m not good at dealing with that part of this thing.

Well, sorta, anyway.

When I have two PT sessions in a row, I am absolutely EXHAUSTED on the second night.  I went to bed at 8:30 last night so I did not have a good time.  I did, however, have some fun during the day (beside hand-sewing the binding on a quilt during the day): I sewed for about an hour which is the first time since the day before my surgery.  I’m not terribly productive since I can’t really try things on right now (there’s no one here during the day to help me measure skirt lengths, etc.) but I’m not doing bad.

AND THE BEAT GOES ON . . .

So to continue the saga of my family, the other day I sent an email to one of my sisters giving her a “recipe” to follow and asking if she would enjoy doing that.  I got a blast back from her that said (essentially) she wasn’t going to make it because she wasn’t able to at this point and didn’t I know that?!?!?

Well, it is sorta hard to know stuff if YOU DON’T COMMUNICATE WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really?  I’m always the one to make phone calls or send emails– not anymore.  I will not be calling anyone and, short of my birthday coming up in a few weeks, I seriously doubt that I’ll hear anything from them for quite some time.  I’m going to track it so we’ll be able to confirm it on email.

In the case of this particular sister, she sent an email to the 4 of us explaining something about her daughter on January 21 but, as I said, that was to the whole group.  On an individual basis, I’m pretty sure that I’d have to go back a lot farther to find an email sent from her to me.  VERY far back.  Got it: November 24, 2014.

So, if you thought I was exaggerating, we’ve cleared that up now, eh?

JEALOUSY!!

Of course, I’m nearly 4 weeks post-op but I am quite jealous of a friend of ours that had her surgery ten days after me for the same procedure.  She gets PT at home and, while as far as I knew, if someone is over 65 you can get some of your PT at home, she is only a couple of months older than me and therefore, I know she doesn’t qualify for Medicare.  I am so jealous that she doesn’t have to leave the house to do PT!!  Maybe eventually she’ll need to but so far, she does not and I’m GREEN with envy!  Good luck, Barbara!

The surgery went well and my recovery is also going well.  Following my physical therapy “orders”, it took about 2-1/2 weeks to get off the walker (thank GOD– REALLY!!).  I use it for pushing my food around but that’s about it.

I’m using the cane but I’ve never used it in my left hand before and it feels weird.  I’m also finding myself (already) walking away from it so I don’t think it will be long before that falls by the wayside, either.

Brian has been wonderful in taking care of me.  Yes, he has done the lion’s share of EVERYTHING around the house and I try to remember to thank him every night.  If I ever forget, like last night, I double-up the next day.  I am blessed to be able to have a husband who knows how to take care of the house, his job, and me without anything suffering for it.

Thank you again, sweetie– you are taking such good care of me!

As the week goes along, I should be able to take over more of the normal things I do during the course of a day including walking Lexi in the afternoons.  It’ll get me out of the house and into some fresh air and, I can control where Lexi walks so it shouldn’t be an issue.

 DYSFUNCTION JUNCTION

Whilst I would like to say that this isn’t about my family, it is about my family.  How did we end up so screwed up?

I am the youngest of five siblings– very independent siblings– and as a result, we do claim to not need each other from time to time.

My feelings for my siblings range from warm and fuzzy to “Really?  That’s what you’re going to go with, huh?”.  Its the last one that really bothers me.  I’m the one who tried to bring us together a few years ago and not only has that not continued but, if anything, our relationships are worse than before we started getting together.  I think I know why that is but let me run a few of the “symptoms” by you:

1.  That “Independence” Thing:  We don’t NEED each other– we have no relationships of friendship and as a result, we really don’t call or write to each other on a regular basis.  I’ve tried to initiate this with several of my siblings but, I eventually find that I’m the only one who is putting any effort into it.

2.  Our Spouses:  SOME of the spouses are controlling and some of us know how to handle the controlling portion of it while others of us are crap at controlling our spouses trying to control us.  If I had a nickel for every time I thought: “Yep, Daddy, you were right!”, I would have an uncontrollable source of funds for fabric buying.

3.  Entitlement:  SOME of us feel that we are entitled to having things and people give in to what we want.  The ones who are on the receiving end of the entitlement projections not only don’t agree but vehemently DENY the entitlement causing friction and, yes, HARD FEELINGS.

ARGH!

I really wish I had been born into a different family sometimes– yesterday was one of those times but then I was concerned that if I were, I wouldn’t have ended up with Brian and with Brian is where I always, always, ALWAYS want to end up.

ARGH!!!

Well, in a way, yes because I’ve got another surgery in a few weeks and I’ve got sewing and quilting to get done before I’m incapacitated.  That and I’m not feeling very inspired right now.

I really try to do everything but I can’t do it all.  I try to write and my Sewing Soul calls to me.  I try to quilt and my Writing Soul calls to me.  It’s really hard to be me, let me tell ya!

Last week, I was everything here at the house because Brian, my hubby, was in Seattle on business.  I had to be Mommy AND Daddy to our little Lexi.  I was having to do things that I don’t ordinarily do with her and that was throwing my timing off.  I did have friends in to sew with me so that I wasn’t completely alone ALL week– that was fun.  It was a mini-retreat of sorts.

This week I have quilting for a customer to do as well as finishing up some of my stuff.  I’ve got one pre-cut quilt (I cut it in May) that I really, really, REALLY want to work on but, I must do the pay stuff first!

I have another knee surgery scheduled (another and LAST) for January.  It will be (hopefully) the last joint replacement surgery for at least two years.  I’m looking forward to it because my right knee has become quite troublesome with bursitis in addition to the arthritis.  I get my LAST cortisone shot in it this week, too.  That will relieve some of the pain until about a week or two before the surgery.  That’s long enough and I’ll be okay for the last week or so before surgery.  j

. . . but sewing, anyway.  I’m trying to make an Artsy-Fartsy quilt artsier and fartsier than just about anything I’ve ever done.  So far its working but there’s a lot of tedious piecing happening.

As a result, other things (like writing) are falling behind.  All in good time, I suppose.

Not so much.  I think its because I’m tired from lack of sleep but I have a hard time doing anything but thinking about the storyline and characters.  Sewing helps me to move it around in my head and so that’s what I’m spending the majority of my time on right now.

Well, that and cleaning up my sewing area this morning and tomorrow, it’ll be cleaning up my office.  Procrastination?  Never!

I’ve been having continued problems sleeping but, I am tracking what’s happening now.  My husband came up with the idea of tracking what I take to get to sleep and whether or not I sleep and when I fall asleep.  Yes, it sounds like a lot but it isn’t because, if I fall asleep, I don’t write down what time I feel asleep, thus eliminating one of the combinations.

I’ve only got a couple of weeks until my doctor appointment so it should be okay.