. . . I told you about my impending hip replacement surgery which has now taken place.  I feel like I should’ve been keeping better track of my progress because I’ll need to know how soon I went off pain meds, when I threw the walker to the side of the road, and when I started walking without a cane.  Alas, I did not track that so the next time I need to get the other hip done, I’ll have no way to know if I’m too fast or too slow in my progress.

More than likely, I’ll be fast because what I don’t push, Brian, my beloved, does push so between the two of us, I’ll be off pain meds quickly, throwing my walker to the side of the road and then, carrying on without a change in my gait and no canes or other accoutrement attached to my hands (on either side).

Yes, I will be getting another hip surgery and sooner than I wanted to but that won’t happen until my right knee is done.  Unfortunately my right knee is tentatively scheduled for January and the left hip will follow within a year or so, I would imagine.

I’ve tried to figure out why I, the youngest of my family, requires being turned into “The Bionic Woman”, sans the ear implant although I could use one, for sure.  I figure weight and smoking and lifestyle had a lot to do with it.  Weight problems are rampant in my family which is but one reason that I’m trying to get these things under control.

So far, I’ve lost 34 pounds and I feel better, all the way around.  That’s more than my sisters can say although one of them (I was going to name her but decided I shouldn’t in case she would take offense) is trying to get some weight off.

But that leads me to another thought: why is my family so sensitive about stuff?  I tried, several years ago, to bring us together and, in some cases, it has happened but in others, not so much.  We have outside forces (outside of the 5 siblings) that are fighting and destroying what little connection we have and that doesn’t help.  We’re also very compartmentalized in our own families and lives– dare I say, yes, we are very SELF-CENTERED in many ways.  We’re all guilty of it.

Since being hospitalized, I’ve heard from one sister on a semi-regular basis and another sister occasionally but not the other sister at all.  I’ve made my overtures but I’m done.  My brother and I keep up on text and email so I’m not worried there either but we have really had some major damage caused to our relationships AGAIN.

This time, someone else can do the repair because I’m DONE.  Oh, well, Mom & Dad– I did try.